For You.

I had this dream (in late 2007) that I was bitten on the palm by an orange mosquito. I watched the insect as it landed in my right hand. When the insect bit me, it hurt. By reaction, I smashed the mosquito with my left hand killing it. I looked over my shoulder, and the person I was with (not sure who, it was a man, but he was out of focus) was swatting away a yellow mosquito. I turned my attention back to my hand and noticed a small hole where the mosquito had bitten me. I put my finger on the hole and opened in wider until the skin on my palm opened like a flower. I stared inside my wound to discover strings of white light dancing around each other. I moved my hand closer and closer to my face until I was completely surrounded by this white light. I could hear the person I was with cursing the yellow mosquito for stinging him. I shut my eyes and thought, "It will be alright. From that pain will come great beauty."

As I woke up, I looked at my hands, inspecting them for any marks. As I became more aware that I was in fact awake, I sat up in my bed and stared at the walls, recalling what I just experienced. I got lost in thought until my alarm clock brought me back. I got ready for work and went about my day.

Every once in awhile, I would think about that experience. I still do. I even look at my hand once in awhile, and imagine that light pouring from the palm. A dream I had so long ago is still effecting me today. Now it seems appropriate to share the dream, along with a few words.....

Allow me to disarm you. We all hurt. Whatever you are using to guard yourself, put it down; you won't need it here. Shut your eyes. Breathe. The warmth that builds in your chest which is followed by a cold twinge brings your lips together in a pout.

Frown.

Cry.

Go ahead. It's ok. You're not alone; I'll do it with you.

Whenever you choose to let go, imagine this: You are full of this amazing light. You're thinking..."How hippie new age bullshit does that sound?" I'm not leaning in that direction, so bear with me.

We are full of such incredible power. Some people know it, most do not. It's there, waiting to be used. It will see us through, it will heal us.

You can be so broken and feel so hopeless. Every time your world gets flipped you feel as though you'll be thrown right off this manic carnival ride that is life. Hang on. Hang on to something. You will be pulled back to the start.

As I look out my window, I see trees twisting in the hard winds. Even as they loose some of their branches, the heart of these trees will remain, for they have strong roots that hold them here in this existence. So do you.



We can be so ready to give up. So ready to leave.

I know people that will.
I know people that are.
I knew people who did.

I also who know people who won't give up. They are fighting; they are warriors.


To these people I say keep fighting. With every challenge, twist, or bad memories you face, may you have a wicked counter strike.

With every storm comes the peace. With every night, a day

After every scream comes a breath. After every Death there is rebirth.

This has to happen. Nothing stays the same, and change is the only constant.

It's the worst times in our lives that are filled with the greatest lessons.


...and so the wheel turns. The wound opens....but the light spills over and consumes us when we welcome it.

Breathe.
Release.
Mourn.
Find peace.

Always.