Kvetch

Out of sheer boredom and a sudden need to bitch, I have compiled a list (from the seemingly trivial to the somewhat valid) of things that simply "piss me right off."

1. The phrase "happy camper". Something about this saying angers me, especially coming from the lips of people that are way too happy for their own good. These obnoxious individuals observe you in a good mood and squeak these words: "Well aren't you a happy camper?" Excuse me? Excuse me?!?! That's all I can say, because I'm too angry to think of a clever retort. What's worse is when these people see that you are in a bad mood, they feel the need to tell you: "Oh, you're not a happy camper are you?" Thank you...thanks. No I am NOT a happy camper, nor will I ever be, you inane jackass.

2. When people try to talk to me when I can't hear them. I hate this. If I'm in the bathroom with water running and you're out in the hallway, odds are, I can't hear a god damn thing you're saying to me. I hate hearing the muffled voice of someone trying to carry on a conversation with me when they know full well that I can't hear them. Same goes if I'm wearing headphones, concentrating on something else, or if my ears are plugged up. Wait until you have my full attention before trying to talk to me, or wait until I'm done with whatever I'm doing. People that have done this before feel the annoyed "I can't hear you!" venom lash from my lips. Just wait until you're looking at me in the eye, then we can talk...it's all good.

3. People who ask for help without verbally asking. I'm usually in the mood to help people if they need it..usually. But, please, ASK. I've had people around me try to reach for something on a high shelf, and they'll stand there and strain and grunt as they strive to reach whatever they need. Then they have the nerve to shoot me a look like "how about you help me". Depending on who they are, I'll cheer them on with a sarcastic "come on, you can do it!" or I'll just shoot a look back like "what the hell was that look for?". My reactions usually trigger the "Can you help me with this" question that should have been asked several minutes before the one person stage show "Grunt and Strain."

4. People that are freaking out about 2012. Stop. Just stop it. So what? If "Planet X" is going to destroy the world, there's not going to be a single freaking place you can hide. Even if it comes close and shifts the poles, that is massive destruction that will be damn near impossible to survive...and if you do, that sucks for you. I would hate to survive something that catastrophic. Besides, we've heard this song before, a lot. It went something like: 05/05/2000...and let's not forget Y2K. I didn't think anything of it then, and I don't think much of it now. If the world ends, all your bunkers and food supplies will not matter, because guess what, you'll be dead. Plus, I read an interview with a Mayan elder awhile back, and he said "the Mayan calendar does not END on 12/21/2012.." (It's the end of a cycle, and a new one will start.) So. There.

5. Nirvana. There I said it. I can't stand most of what Nirvana released. I hate the fact that it's a MUST to love this band if you love 90's alternative. Well, you MUST be kidding me. I like their lesser known tracks. (Aneurysm, Sappy , About a Girl...) But the majority is, overplayed, overrated, and utter crap. I'll be over here listening to Alice In Chains..(the early stuff.) And I don't want to hear who influenced who. Hell, The Beatles influenced a lot of great bands...and I hate most of what The Beatles made as well.

6. While we're on the subject of music, all music today is total shit. I never thought I would complain about this generation's music the way my parents complained about mine, but here I am....

7. Nickelback...I don't think I need to explain why.

8. When people refer to TV characters as real people. "Yeah, he's funny. He reminds me of Jim." Jim...Jim from The Office? Are you freaking serious? I was having a conversation with someone awhile back, and they brought up the fact that "they don't like the way Michael was treating Pam last week..." Wait, you're talking about a freaking television show. These people don't really exist. You do know that, right?


Eight is a good closing number. I'm sure as more and more things piss me off, a Kvetch part deux will emerge.